Divorce is not an easy decision. No one thinks of divorcing their life partner unless it is a last resort, and no one expects divorce to be pleasant. However, it is important that you make the best efforts to have a healthy divorce, especially if you have children. It sounds unachievable, but a ‘good divorce’ is possible if you keep certain things in mind and keep calm during unsteady times, for the sake of your kids, if not anything else.
1. Chalk out a Plan
It is natural that your emotional state will not be at its best during the process of getting divorced, but you have to stay strong and think about the future. Before talking to a professional, you need to make sure that you’re clear to yourself about what you want. You should make an outline of the basic terms of the divorce, what you want regarding the custody of your kids, what differences in opinion that might arise later (even if it’s a mutual divorce), and so on. Do not rush your divorce; you might not want to think about it because it pains you, but you cannot afford to neglect it otherwise it might lead to a lot of unhappiness in the future.
2. Try a Mediator first
If you want an amicable solution, it is best that you go for mediation. Hiring mediators is not only less costly than hiring lawyers, but also more effective in the long run. Lawyers will drag out the worst parts of you and your spouse, and it might easily lead to an ugly divorce. You do not want that for your kids to see. A lot of problems spring up during a divorce regarding child custody, alimony, child maintenance payments, and other finances and so on. Before you think about getting an aggressive lawyer to get what you want, hire help from mediation services such as National Family Mediation Service Swindon to reach a more peaceful solution.
3. You don’t have to be Friends, but not Enemies either
Yes, there will be at least some bitter feelings for your ex-spouse, and that is okay. But you should not channel your bitter emotions through a harsh divorce to hurt your ex-spouse that will be very bad for your children, as they will completely be shattered by the hatred that will inevitably be spin around in an ugly divorce. You and your ex should work on having a working relationship where your kids can see that both of you still love them even though you have separated. Ask your mediator at the National Family Mediation Service Swindon to arrange for support groups and therapists to help your family with emotional support.
