I often hear from wives who want nothing more than for their separated husband to finally come home. Usually, the couple has separated but the husband is dragging his feet on coming up with the resolution. I am usually contacted by the wife who wants her husband to come home so that they can save the marriage. But wives usually tell of a husband who is reluctant to come home. And many of the wives assume that if he won’t come home, this must mean that he wants a divorce but this isn’t always true either. Some wives will tell me that their husband doesn’t seem to want either – meaning he doesn’t want to come home but he also insists that he doesn’t want a divorce. Needless to say, this can be extremely frustrating.
I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “My husband and I separated five months ago. It has been hell while he has been gone. I miss him so much and it’s so hard to raise my kids and to give them what they need without him. But no matter what I do or say, he refuses to come home. When he says this, I will then ask him if this means that he wants a divorce and he tells me that no, he doesn’t want a divorce. This makes me so angry. It feels like he is keeping my life in limbo. And there’s a part of me that thinks he doesn’t want a divorce because he doesn’t want to pay me a lot of money when we get divorced. What can I do to get him to make a decision? Truthfully, I don’t want him to choose to divorce me. I love him. I want him to come home so we can save our marriage and be a family. How can I get him to cooperate and stop acting like this?”
I know that this is a very frustrating and difficult situation. It’s very hard (if not impossible) to “make” or “get” your husband to not only stop sitting on the fence and make a decision, but to make the decision that you want him to make, which is to come home. With that said, there are some things which I believe increase the likelihood of you getting what you want, which I will discuss below.
Your Husband Doesn’t Necessarily Need To Come Home Immediately In Order For You To Work On Or Save Your Marriage: Many wives make the assumption that in order to give their marriage a real chance to succeed, they and their husband need to be living under the same roof – which means that he needs to come home immediately. Although this can make things easier (simply because he have more access to him,) it isn’t 100 percent necessary. Countless people save their marriages while they are separated or living apart.